Journal Entry - March 28th, 2016 - Trade-offs

Trade-offs.  

When we begin to look at things from this perspective we are better able to make decisions that align with our higher selves.

Everything is a trade-off.  The fact that I'm sitting here right now writing means that i'm not doing an infinite number of other things.  

We need to constantly check-in with ourselves and ask whether what we're doing in this moment is getting us closer to, or further away from, becoming our highest selves.

We can take this a step further and ask ourselves whether or not this is the BEST use of our time.  But, fuck it.  As long as we're in the positive I'm willing to roll with it.

Of course, going to the extreme is the quickest way to burnout.  So we also need to remind ourselves to let go once in a while and do whatever the fuck we feel like doing. (within reason)

But we should strive to maintain an 80/20 balance.  The famous Pareto Principle.

Spend four-fifths of your time doing things that align with your highest self.  Spend 20% unwinding or doing things that you like doing -- but know that it's not helping you reach your highest self.  For me, PlayStation jumps out as an obvious example.  I enjoy gaming. 

I think it's the quick-feedback loop that gets me hooked.  Instant gratification and the chance to hit the reset button.  Again, from the perspective of trade-offs, playing PlayStation means that i'm not spending time reading, or studying, or prepping meals, or exercising, or or or...infinity.

But at the same time, if i enjoy it and i'm sticking to the 80/20 then i need to allow myself that luxury.  It's good for ME in the long-run.  You can't possibly be a marathoner all day.  At some point you have to stop and take a fuckin' break.  

Think of the "highest-good" activities as the marathon and everything else as the sprint.  

The 80% is the grind, the 20% -- unwind.

80 -- grind.  20 -- unwind.

Balance, in this case, isn't 50/50.  But 80/20.

Where is 80% of our effort being directed?  Is it getting us closer or further away from self-actualization?

I'd argue that many people would be on my side.  A far worse ratio than 80/20. 

But it's only with the realization of trade-offs and constant self-reflection will we be able to change this ratio and start turning it more toward the positive.

Smoking Less - Day 15

I succeeded today in that i did not smoke before work or during lunch.  It helped that i woke up only 25 minutes before i had to leave.  I was rushing around and didn't even time to think about it.  I also stayed downtown at lunchtime as opposed to going back home.  Thus, there was no opportunity to smoke at lunch either!

Let's hope i can stay strong tomorrow without having to hide!

750 Words - Conclusion

Over the course of the three weeks, i was able to write 21 blog posts of 750 words or more.  750words.com reports activity and offers statistics.  i totaled 15,951 non-unique words over the course of the challenge. (meaning that if i used "and" 250 times, it counted 250 times)

Although i won't be publishing the 750 word entries anymore, i plan to continue to write each morning and have done so each morning since the challenge has ended.  It forces me to focus and think and generally gets me in a good mindset to begin the day.  William Blake said, "think in the morning, act in the noon, read in the evening, and sleep at night."  That's not a bad strategy.

Did you have a favorite post?  Share it in the comments below.

750 Words - Day 21

Today is the final day in the 21 day 750-word challenge.  I've written a lot of words over the past three weeks and touched on some interesting topics.  I don't want this to be a conclusion post because i plan to do that later this week.  

My puppy woke me up at 7:45 to go outside and go potty and i was about to get back in bed i thought to myself, "isn't there an FA Cup game on?"  Sure enough, there is.  Lovely reason to not go back to sleep.  I decided to stay awake and begin my day.  

I've been thinking a lot about how yesterday's post ended about what i want to do with my life i just don't know how.  I think yesterday might have been a little bit misleading but the essence is i want to be of service to others.  I want to take people to new heights in their lives.  I want to advance the human race.  It most definitely starts with myself as i must lead by example.  I think completing the goals that i've outlined for the year with go a long way toward helping me live like that.  (Smart, fit, aware, free, and of service)  

I hope that by having a sense of what i want to do i can begin taking the necessary steps to get there.  As they say, "if you don't know where you're going, any path will get you there."  I want to have an endgame in mind as i'm taking the journey.  My WHY.  The thing (other than soccer) that gets me out of bed before 8 am on a weekend.  

I'm looking forward to warmer weather.  I really want to take advantage of the outdoorsman's paradise that i live in.  The Blue Ridge Parkway and Appalachian trail are ridiculously close.  I got a new mountain bike and some riding shoes, as well as a hand-me-down tent over the winter break.  All gearing up for this spring and summer.  I may or may not have mentioned that one of my unofficial goals is to spend as least one night in the woods per month this summer.  I think it will do me some good.  Especially if i'm able to do it alone on one occasion.

It's important that i focus on my goals and hold the pursuit of those goals above all else.  It goes back to choices.  Whether i am conscious of it or not, every single second i am choosing to get closer to, or further away from, my goals.  Repetition and mindfulness will allow me to stay focused on what is truly important.  If i choose my goals wisely, this shouldn't be a problem.  If i'm having exceptional difficulty reaching a goal, perhaps my heart just isn't in it.  Perhaps it's a "should" goal.  If you think you SHOULD do something, you've already lost 9 times out of 10.  The desire must be beyond a simple should.  What is the WHY?  Like a small child, keep asking "why" until you peel away all the artificial layers.  Get to the core, the essence of why.  

One month of 2013 is nearly gone.  How are you doing with your resolutions?  If you're on track, don't fall off.  If you aren't, you new streak can begin today.  Incremental improvements, day after day after day after day after day.  Faster than you realize it, you'll look back and be surprised at how far you've come.  I say these kind of things mostly just to remind myself.  I try to instill positive thoughts in my mind as often as possible.  It's very easy for negative thoughts and emotions to arise, but with mindfulness i can be aware of the emotions and drown them out with a flood of positive ones.

We all have a choice as to whether we want to be happy or sad, rich or poor, fat or skinny.  It's just a matter of how bad we want it and what we're willing to do to get it.  Choices and decisions.  Can it really be that simple?  I think it can if we train ourselves.  It's the little moments when we aren't mindful that allows ourselves to get off track.  If we work at it, we can make sure that those moments are fewer and farther between.  

The best part is that we can start this practice of mindfulness right this second.  Bring complete attention to whatever you are doing, no matter how mundane the task may seem.  

750 Words - Day 20

So i'm up and at 'em pretty early for a Saturday morning.  It's just before 8 am as i sit down to start typing.  I was asleep by 8:30 pm last night so i got plenty of sleep.  Who goes to bed at 8:30 on a Friday night?  This guy, i guess.  I'm not mad about it.  I'm not a 21 year old college student out on the prowl for some pussy anymore.  I never really liked the whole club scene anyways.  I'd much rather be in a different environment with a few good people than a club full of drunk people.  

Also, i've witnessed what you ladies go through on a day-to-day basis.  "Hey, shawty let me holla at chu!"  I vowed to never be one of those guys.  

That mindset might have caused me to miss a few opportunities here or there, but it is what it is.  I'm happy where i'm at right now.  The gf, puppy, and I have a nice, happy home together.  Everything worked out as it was supposed to, i presume.

I'm looking forward to this weekend and i have plenty on my plate.  I try and create a little task list for myself each day, especially on the weekends.  Most of the time I complete around 75% of what's on the list.  That's good enough to consider it a success.  I find that it helps keep me on task.  If i find myself bored i just check the list and get started on something.  

I've spoken a lot about how i want to use the hours of the weekends to their fullest potential.  I have been doing an "okay" job at it but i also need to step it up.  More adventures!  It's supposed to be cold outside this weekend so i don't plan on doing anything outside. I would like to drop off some clothes to donate, so if it gets warm enough i'll ride my bike.  It's only a couple miles and would probably take a half hour round trip.  I'm looking forward to using my bicycle a lot more this year.  I even have thoughts of doing a 21 day no-car challenge.  My gf thought that that meant that i'd be mooching rides off of her for three weeks, but that won't be the case.  My plan is to not even ride in a car and use nothing by man-power for transportation.  If i do decide to move forward with this challenge, it won't be until the spring when it starts to get warmer.  I'll also have to do it before baseball season because we play far away.  Since it's only three weeks i think i should be able to squeeze it in there somewhere.

I feel like this post is a lot more lighthearted than usual.  Could the reason be that it's because i'm not rushing to go to work?  Perhaps.  I dread going to work.  I usually have to "pump myself up" in one way or another.  Do any of you experience this?  

Yesterday i posted a T-Nation article on my buddies wall about needing to know your purpose.  He asked me if i knew my purpose.  I replied that i hadn't.  Once i do, though, i feel like every aspect of my life will flow more freely.  Although i posted it in our physical fitness G+ group, i can easily see how it could translate.  He has two kids, so for him, they are his purpose.  He wants to be healthy and fit for his children.  Another friend of mine said he has recently found his purpose and his life seems to be a lot less hectic for him as well.  

So what is my purpose?  Some people say it'll be the first thing that comes to mind while other people say to keep writing until something makes you cry.   That's your purpose.  Perhaps i'll do a little digging this weekend to find out.  

Actually, though, when i was watching Jiro Dreams of Sushi, there was a moment when a female guest put a piece of sushi in her mouth and kind of like melted.  I don't know how to describe it but you could tell that it was probably the tastiest piece of sushi she'd ever created.  Her reaction was stunningly beautiful and i started to cry.  I realized that i wanted to have that kind of profound impact on others lives.  So i guess that's my purpose.  To give people that "ahhhhhhhh" feeling.  That feeling of bliss.  Now i just have to figure out HOW.  

750 Words - Day 19

Happy Friday!  We are nearing the end of my 21 day challenge.  Just two more posts after this!  I think i've written more in these 21 days that i have in all of last year combined.  I hope i can carry the momentum and continue to write each morning.  I think it's a good exercise and gets my mind right for the day.

Today is also the last day in my "old" role at work.  I'll try to treat Monday as if i'm walking in to something completely new.  It's a chance to start over and prove my worth.  It's also an opportunity to learn some new things from some different people.  

I haven't been doing too good regarding exercising.  I just haven't had the motivation.  I've been rolling around on a lacrosse ball in order to do some soft tissue work, but i haven't done any weight training or cardio.  My buddy and I decided that we'll use the Marine Corps Fitness Test to test our progress.  The test is comprised of three events.  Pull-ups, a three-mile run, and crunches.  The highest possible score on each test is 100.  A total score of 200 would put us in the top-tier for men our age.  That's what we're shooting for.  I figure if i can be as fit as a top-tier Marine, i can probably guarantee i'm more fit than most men my age.

I think the hardest for me will be the three mile run.  I've never enjoyed running and the most i've ever ran at once was 7 miles (and that's only because i was running in a new area and got a little lost)  So this year, i want to get in the best shape of my life.  After that, it's just about maintenance.  Easier said than done, of course, but worthwhile.  I don't want to the a typical fat-ass American.  I seek to be a role model through my actions and the way i carry myself.  Actions speak louder than words!  A "do as i do" kind of thing.

I've never been great at marrying my words and my actions.  It's something i'd like to improve.  That and the delayed gratification thing i talked about yesterday.

I just always want to be trying to improve.  To me, if you aren't growing you're slowing.  

Just received a phone call from my girlfriend about 10 minutes after she'd left for work.  She never calls and the roads are bad today so when i heard the phone ring i instantly got nervous.  She was fine, just wanted to tell me about all the wrecks she had seen on her short commute.  Then she called again 5 minutes later!  I thought to myself, "oh fuck, if last time wasn't an emergency why is she calling now?"  Luckily she just wanted to tell me how she avoided an out of control car barreling towards her.  She's safely in her office now.  

That must be how parents feel when their kids start to grow up.  

The accident she witnessed (narrowly avoided) seemed pretty bad but she said both people in the vehicle that eventually struck a building were both able to get out and walk away.  A shitty way to start a Friday morning but at least they're okay.

The time we have on this planet is limited and we don't know how many days we have left.  We'd all like to think that we'll all grow old and die of some natural cause but unfortunately that isn't the case for some people.  I've already been to three funerals for kids i went to high school with and i haven't even had my 10 year reunion yet.  

Death is a topic that i've definitely interested in and even took a class on in college.  It's the great equalizer.  We are all going to die.  No matter if you're rich or poor, black or white, etc. etc.  Death isn't something to be feared.  It can be thought of as simply a transition.  At birth, we went from our mother's womb into this "real" world.  That was probably a scary transition, too, but one we are all happy to have gone through.

Since we are all going to die, why not try to learn as much about it before you face it?  Death is looked at completely different in some other cultures.  In America, it's not something we like to talk about or witness first hand.  We hand our dead off to "trained professionals" shortly after passing and don't see the body again until calling hours when they look like mannequins.  It doesn't have to be this way.

750 Words - Day 18

Each day is an opportunity to get better or for your skills to diminish.  We have a choice each day, hour, minute, second.  Just because we've decided one way for the past x amount of years, doesn't mean today has to be the same.  Today can be the be the day you start a streak or the day you begin to break a bad habit.  It only takes one day to start a streak, and it only takes one day to end it.  

I have been comfortable floating along for quite some time now.  A shake-up is in the works, i just don't know how long it will take for me to act on the impulses.  In the meantime, i will continue to try and improve each day so that when the time comes, i'll be ready to leap at the opportunity.  

I want to bring maximum effort to each area of my life that i have deemed important.  Life is too short not to try and be the best person i can be.  I must remove myself from people who bring me down and surround myself with uplifting, successful people.  After all, why would one take advice from somebody 20 years older than you who is basically stuck in the same situation?  What do they know, really?  If they knew something, they wouldn't still be doing the same shit they've been doing that is keeping them unfulfilled.

It goes back to comfort.  Am i willing to trade comfort for fulfillment?  I must say that at this point, my actions tell me yes, i am willing to sacrifice fulfillment for comfort.  This is something i'd love to reverse.  To trade the comfort for fulfillment.  Comfort keeps you stuck, comfort keeps you doing the same things you have been doing.  Comfort keeps you "in the box."  I've never considered myself to be a mainstream person, but here i am.  Going through the motions like all of these other robots.  Doing what is expected of me instead of what fulfills me.  

The powerful thing about it all is that it's all up to me.  I can jump right the fuck out of that box and shout, "I'm here fuckers!" if i so choose.  That's my choice.  It's just about overcoming the fear.  I'm not there yet.  I'll never be there from a "it's time" perspective, so i'll eventually have to man-up and just jump in and let the details sort themselves out.  The sooner the better but that fear is real.  Even though i don't even know what i'm fearing.  Fearing the unknown, fear of being uncomfortable, i guess.

I really don't know what the ultimate catalyst is going to be.  It would be nice if i could initiate it but i have a feeling it's going to have to come from external sources.  I seem to operate reactively instead of proactively.  Something tells me that this is not the secret to success.  

Being aware of these things are an important step, but if i'm aware and still don't make changes then what?  I'm aware but i don't care.  But i do care or i wouldn't be sitting here writing about it.

I'm terrible at delaying gratification.  This is a problem.  There was a famous study done years ago that went something like this:  a child was place in a room with a cookie.  The child was told that they could eat the cookie now, or if they wait until the grown-up comes back, they can have an extra cookie (or two, can't remember)  The children who were able to wait for the additional cookies ended up being more successful in life than the children who ate the cookie that was sitting in front of them.

However, doesn't this go against the age-old saying, "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?"  The kid had that cookie right now, why risk that one cookie with future cookies that are "promised" but not guaranteed?  Interesting dilemma there.  If anybody can help me out with that it'd be great.  

Tomorrow isn't promised, but i'd better be prepared in case it happens anyways.  I guess it's all about walking that fine line.  The razor's edge, so to speak.  Never too extreme, but following the middle way.  This is a big theme in Buddhism and probably a great strategy in every aspect of all of our lives.  I must work to develop this skill.  The skill of balancing comfort and fulfillment.  Every day is a chance to improve.

750 Words - Day 17

Back on it!  I sat here and stared without typing anything or a solid three minutes before deciding to go take my shower.  I'm fresh and clean now so hopefully that gets the creative juices flowing.

Last night i watched a Frontline episode about the financial collapse on Wall St.  It's frustrating that not one of the major bankers or anybody "in high places" had to pay the price for their greed.  The American taxpayers fit the bill and the majority of us didn't even blink.

We must remember that every time we hear "government spending" what they mean is our tax dollars.  

The only person in Washington who was really committed to going after these guys was the Senator who took over for Joe Biden.  What this meant is that he was appointed to his position and he was not beholden to any lobbyists or campaign contributors.  What does that tell you?  TAKE THE MONEY OUT OF POLITICS.

Then they were talking to people in the "justice" department and all they kept saying is how hard it is to prove intent beyond a reasonable doubt.  That's bullshit.  They have no problem locking up people every day.  They were scared to take on Wall St so they pretended like they were doing their job but in reality they weren't even trying to go after the guys at the top.  

 Let's not just point the finger in one direction.  There were plenty of lenders who took money that they shouldn't have taken.  Just because somebody is stupid enough to give you a loan, doesn't mean you should take it.  People in this country are so financially illiterate that it's disgusting.  After all, how many of you had to take a personal finance course in order to graduate?  I know i didn't.  I had to take 4 classes in English though.  That has paid dividends (sarcasm)

Our schools don't teach us how to be responsible adults, it teaches us not to question authority and the only right answer is the one the teacher wants to hear.  Sets us up perfectly to be robots for the rest of our lives.  Comfortable enough not to give a shit about what's going on in the world around us.  As long as we're comfy, we're fine.  

That's partly why i wish Romney would have won the presidency.  I think it would have been the wake up call that everyday Americans need.  I equated Obama and Romney both to train conductors.  They are both driving the train (the USA) straight off of a cliff.  Romney's train was just moving faster toward the edge.  Obama is moving us in the same direction, just not as steadfastly.

This is discerning because when it happens so slowly, it's harder for people to take notice.  Our rights have been slowly and consistently impeded upon since September 11th and we just keep letting it happen in the name of "safety" and "security."

Pretty soon we'll be so safe and secure that only the government will be able to protect us.  How safe and secure will you feel then?  

I used to think that the Democratic party was the party "for the people" but what i realize is that they just want to keep their own asses in Washington.  Even the people who make up the Democratic party in Washington is part of the 1% and in the pockets of the 00.01%.  They aren't regular Americans.  They grew up rich kids in the suburbs, too.  What the fuck do they know about the day-to-day struggle of the typical American?  My guess is that they only know enough to pretend to feel their pain.  They don't actually know what it's like.

Washington is too big and the federal government has too much power.  Their rules, regulations, and barriers to entry only make it harder for the little people.  The big companies have the money and influence to get around these problems and therefore are the only ones allowed to play.

Moral people don't need laws to know right from wrong.  Immoral people aren't going to let some law get in their way.  So who do these laws really effect?  The people who probably weren't going to break the law in the first place.  It's just going to ensure that the immoral people have less competition because they're going to do XYZ regardless.  

I think i'm responsible enough to know right from wrong and to act morally in society.  I don't need to rely on Washington to tell me how to act.

750 Words - Day 16

And the streak continues!  Last night i sat down to watch Jiro Dreams of Sushi.  I saw it on Amazon Instant videos and added it to my watchlist.  I coudn't figure out why i wanted to watch this film or where / if i had heard of it.  Then it dawned on me. I betcha this is a Tim Ferriss thing.  Sure enough, it's one of the documentaries he recommends surrounding cooking.  It's amazing how that seed was planted without me even realizing it.  Yet, when i saw the title, something clicked.

It was a great documentary.  Unfortunately, the whole thing is in Japanese but if you don't mind reading subtitles i recommend it.  Although the movie is about an 85 year old sushi chef, the movie touches on many things that can be applied outside the kitchen.  It seemed like everybody in the movie had knowledge to drop.  The old sushi chef, his apprentice son, a restaurant critic, and various people from the fish market all had quotes i felt necessary to jot down.  

It seems that greatness, no matter your profession can all be boiled down to the same characteristics.  No matter the source, the same characteristics continue to surface again and again.  I won't get into those now because i can't think of them without looking in my notebook.  I plan to do a follow-up post regarding my notable quotations from the documentary after i'm done with this challenge.

I've already written the post and i also have notes from another book i've read this year.  I don't want to post them yet, though, because i'd prefer not to post multiple times per day and then go a week without anything.  I'll keep those posts on hand for those days.  The only issue i have with that is that i'm withholding information from all of you.  What if there was something contained in those notes that would change your life and i'm just sitting on them?  That would suck.  It's also a reason for you to check back.

I found out yesterday that i am getting a revised role at work.  I currently work only on the corporate branding side of things but now i'll be splitting my time between the corporate side and a specific brand.  It's a great opportunity for me and i'm looking forward to the change of pace.  It begins next Monday.  I'll work two days for the brand, two days for corporate, and the departments will alternate Fridays.  I hope there's a nice little raise involved, but minimally it's an opportunity to work with different people and learn new things.  I'm looking at it as a fresh start in my organization.

There is no reason not to enjoy your job.  After all, none of us are forced to show up everyday.  We may have a million reasons in our head as to why we "can't" quit but those are all excuses.  Your manager does not come to your door every day with a weapon and force you to log the hours.  (Although i've heard there are same damn crazy factories in China)  Anyway, we are free to pursue whatever we want.  We are the captain of our own ship.

Even if you have a lowly job, if you are the best at it you will gain notoriety and earn a more-than-modest amount of money.  Jiro was a sushi chef.  There are probably millions of sushi chefs in the world.  But Jiro loves making sushi.  He calls it his life's work.  This is one of the reasons he is one of the absolute best in his trade.  A love for what he is creating and the unrelenting drive to improve.  Jiro wants to make each piece of sushi better than the last.  Incremental improvements over the long haul.  It is because of how he approaches his work that he is so successful. 

I'm sure he makes more money than other "higher-paying" professions because he's at the top of his craft.  You can be mediocre at something you hate or you can strive to be great at something you love.  Jiro shows us that choosing something you love, even if the money isn't there, is the true path.

I think when i'm finally able to fully immerse myself in my work, myself and the world around me will be of great benefit.  When we do the work we are meant to do, it radiates outward and makes the whole world a better place for everybody.

750 Words - Day 15

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.  

My employer must be racist because i have to go to work.  I'm just kidding but why the hell does the government get the day off but i don't?  Aren't my taxes what keeps Washington turning?  If they're closed we should be closed too, right?

Okay, i'm over it.  It's not like i'm going to call off so i might as well stop bitching.  I'm running a little behind today as i didn't want to get out of bed on this Monday morning.  

Today is also Inauguration Day for President Obama.  Although i didn't vote for him, i'm glad he is taking office for another four years compared to what the alternative could've been.  I did not want to see Republican candidate Mitt Romney win.  I just felt like he was to out of touch with society.  We need to get all the old, white, men in Washington and replace them with some new blood. I'm not sure it's ever going to happen though, as old white men are the ones interested in public office.

I wouldn't last in DC because i wouldn't be willing to play be their rules.  I would want to go in there and reduce the size of government.  Not too many politicians want to reduce their own workforce.  Either side of the aisle, those people's main goal is to get re-elected.  They are protecting their own asses first, then they worry about everything that they were supposed to be doing much, much, later.  I wouldn't see myself as being very popular amongst the group, Democrat or Republican.

If i had to box myself in, i would be a Green Libertarian.  I'm all for individual freedoms, as long as you are not infringing on the life, liberty, or pursuit of happiness of another being.  And we must keep Mother Earth first.  Ruining the planet for your short term economic gain is bullshit, selfish, and very small minded.  

I'd also seek to unite rather than divide.  We see politicians blaming each other.  A friend posted this on facebook and i thought it was funny/true.  "Republicans preach self-discipline and then blame the Democrats for all of their problems."  Typical hypocrisy of the right.

I used to consider myself Democrat, but the more i got involved and sought truth, the more i realized that they were just the other side of the Republican coin.  They work together to keep themselves in power and shit on the average Americans.  Neither party is for the working class, both parties are for keeping themselves and their friends fancy, fat, and fabulous.  

Of the three presidential elections i was old enough to vote in (i was born in 1985) i've voted for a third-party candidate in the last two.  People tell me i'm "wasting" my vote but in reality i'm the one voting with my heart and voting for change.  

Checking the D or R box just ensures we're going to keep on getting the same old shit.  Real change involves disrupting the whole system.  Can you imagine what would happen if suddenly there was a new political party in power in Washington?  It would take everything and tip it on its' side.  I think that is what we need to see in this country.  

We are no longer the greatest country in the world.  I'm not sure we ever were, as that's only what i've read in American history books.  If anything, i think our strategy of going everywhere on the planet and spreading Democracy and Christianity has only hindered the globe.

What would you do if suddenly China took over and demanded that we put their style of government in place and started erected a bunch of Chinese temples?  I don't think we'd take it very well.   We need to step into the shoes of other people and attempt to see things from all angles.

In America, we are so consumed by marketing and propaganda that it's difficult to see through all of the bullshit and get down to the truth.  It's easier to simply take what's being sold to you.  Questioning and asking "why" doesn't make you many friends, but i'd argue that it makes the world a better place.  Sometimes people need to be questioned.  I'm always open to it.  Even if what i'm being told is non-sense, i'll either come out of the conversation with a new way to look at things, or i'll strengthen my previous resolve.  Win-win in my opinion.

750 Words - Day 14

Yesterday was cheat day (regarding my diet) so not to be "cheated" i decided to get a half dozen Krispy Kremes.  I ate 4 of them last night before bed.  I threw out the rest.  Needless to say i paid for it last night and this morning.  Terrible heartburn woke me up more than once.  Then this morning i woke up in a complete fog.  I don't know if that can be blamed solely on the doughnuts but i'm guessing that they had something to do with it.  Food is fuel and Krispy Kremes are a terrible fuel.  They taste fucking delicious though.  Wouldn't it be nice if only the healthiest of foods had the best taste?   

My buddy, a truck driver, is planning to come through today to watch the first NFL playoff game.  I was convinced that being a trucker would be an awesome career.  See the countryside, windows down / music up.  Then i realized that he drives all year and it's not always sunny and 75.  I hate driving in the snow.  I wrecked once when i was younger in a snowstorm and i can't get passed it.  I wouldn't want my career to depend on overcoming my fear of driving in the snow.  Perhaps if i could make enough money in the summer to last all year i'd be more inclined.

Back to the football.  Today the San Francisco 49ers are playing the Atlanta Falcons in the NFC Championship Game and the Baltimore Ravens play the New England Patriots in the AFC.  The head coaches for the 49ers and the Ravens are brothers so i think it would be cool to see them play either other's teams in the Super Bowl.  The last, and biggest, game of the year.  I'd want the 49ers to win that, since i'm a Browns fan and we don't like the Ravens.

For the non-football fans, in 1996 the owner of the Cleveland Browns, Art Modell, moved our team to Baltimore.  The city of Cleveland and the fans of the Browns were crushed.  We also developed quite the animosity toward Mr Modell.  We got a new team in 1999.  The same year the Ravens won the Super Bowl.  That could've been our trophy.  That was a Cleveland Browns team just 4 years previous and now a black and purple Ravens team were the once hoisting the trophy.  

For this reason, I'll never be a Ravens fan.  I'm rooting for them today because i don't like New England and the brother thing would be cool.  I'm almost positive that has never happened before in the NFL.  I doubt that it has happened in any other major sport, as well.

I'll be rooting for whichever NFC team wins to beat whichever AFC team they play against.  

There's something about professional sports i really enjoy.  I think i just like to watch people who are the best at what they do.  When i watch television, i pretty much only tune into live sports and PBS.  There are a couple of other stations i tune into, such as CNBC, but for the most part it's sports or documentaries. 

I like the realness.  I used to only read non-fiction but this year i've gotten into reading fiction before bed.  Just to unwind.  When i'm reading non-fiction i'm seeking knowledge, using my highlighter, taking notes, etc.  When i'm reading fiction i just unplug and read.  Perfect thing for me to do before bed.

I recently read or saw something that went like this, "is this the best use of my time, right now?"  I can't remember where it came from but i think it's profound.  When i find myself sitting around lost, or doing some less-important task, i try to come back to these words.  Since i've started this, it's usually enough motivation to go do something else.  The best use of my time is simply a reminder to stop and think about what i'm doing.  It doesn't mean i should constantly be doing something.  Sometimes, meditation or a light nap would be the best use of my time.  Other times, it's doing some cardio or weightlifting.  

It's simply a reminder to be mindful.  We waste so much time in our lives.  That time is finite.  When it is gone, it is gone.  We should hold our time as precious and make the most out of each second.  

Is this the best use of my time, right now?  Yes, yes it is.  But not anymore because i just passed my 750 word threshold.  Happy Sunday everybody.

750 Words - Day 13

Saturday!  Trying to stick to the schedule even though it's Saturday.  I woke up and took my hemp protein shake, and now i'm sitting down to write.  Last Saturday i didn't do this upon waking but later in the day.  I'm usually pretty good at staying on task when i go through the rigidity of the Monday - Friday workweek, but on the weekends all hell breaks loose when there isn't any structure.

The weekend isn't based on having to be a certain place between certain hours so that you can bring home a paycheck.  It's when i have the most time to do me and also a great opportunity to try and figure out how to make some money on the side.

I don't want my life to be the pursuit of money, but money sure as makes things easier.  More money, more problems?  Shit!  I'd rather have the problem of having too much money than the problem of not having enough.  If whoever said that money can't buy happiness could kindly send me a hundred million dollars, i would love to try and prove them wrong.

I'll speak from personal experience, but i'm sure there are plenty of other people going through the same thing.  How many people would be working in their current position for free?  Because it's something that they really love to do?  I'd argue that less than half the population (probably closer to 90%) would not.  They do it for the money.  

But why?  Is it worth it?  Maybe right now it feels like it is.  The thing is though, we only get one shot at this thing we call life.  This is not a video game with a reset button.  We might as well try to achieve personal greatness.  

Easier said than done.  An office job is "secure" and setting out on your own is scary.  I rely on that measly paycheck.  I'm so obsessed that I actually have the entire first quarter and part of Q2 2013 mapped out and ready to spend.  I'm relying on the same amount of money coming in twice a month.  If, for some reason, that money is no longer coming in, I'm completely fucked.  I don't have any fall-back savings and the bill collectors aren't going to be sympathetic.

So it is really that secure?  Is relying on somebody else to hand you a paycheck the secure way?  When he/she decides your services are no longer needed, there goes your only source of income.  Then you tuck your tail between your legs and start emailing out .pdfs of "why you should hire me" all over again.  

It's a system i'd love to break out of.  I want to own my own business one day.  I want to be in control of earning my own money.  I not only want to feel good about how i am spending my cash, but how i am earning it.  Right now, i don't have much (any) say in where my company spends their money.  If they want to buy work uniforms from sweat shops in Cambodia, they can. 

Would i put my money toward something that was made in a sweat shop in Cambodia?  Probably not.  But i'm in control of that.

Also, the money we get from our employer is nothing compared to the money we make for them.  I made around 35k (pretax) last year.  I must be making my company more than that or else why would i be on the payroll?  That wouldn't be a very good business decision.  I'm not sure on exact figures but let's say it's 2:1.  I make them 70k in profits and they pay me 35k.  As much as i am careful about spending that 35k, i have no say in what is happening with that 70k.  That 70k could be directly funding slicing the throats of baby whales and i can't do anything to stop it.

What i can do, as i said before, is earn money consciously as well.  To do this requires seeing the bigger picture.  It might make me uncomfortable, and i might try to make excuses as to why it isn't true.  In the end, whether i can justify it or not, it's an important thing to be aware of.

It's like advocating for kids' health and working in the McDonalds marketing department.  It's like being for gun control and working for Sturm Ruger.  

If conscious spending is something you care about, conscious earning is the other side of that coin.

750 Words - Day 12

Happy Friday!  Friday's are relevant because it kicks off the weekend.  If i was an entrepreneur, Friday probably wouldn't have the same meaning because i wouldn't have the same relationship with my work.  Right now it isn't about thriving, but merely surviving.  That's my fault though.  I really need to take control over my work life / career.  Sitting back and waiting for outside forces or something is a terrible strategy.  The world is busy looking out for itself so we need to be the same.  It's our life and we're responsible for it.  

And when i say control, i realize that we have very little control over some of the things that happen in our lives.  Maybe it's  better if i say direction.  We need to take responsibility for the direction of our lives.  Plenty of outside forces may come into play, but we must only worry about what we can control.  I must focus on controlling what i can and letting go of the things i cannot.  Why complain about outside forces?  Complaining is just to way to pretend you are helpless.  I wish to stop complaining and start making changes.

I especially bitch a lot about social issues.  I haven't made many friends on Facebook based on my views.  I like to complain about the "system."  I think i'd like to focus more on awareness and education.  Although a lot of people aren't interested in educating themselves and seeking the truth, i'll at least provide the links.  I can't force people to click or even to care.  What i can do is take the appropriate actions to ensure that i'm living a life that i'm proud of and lead by example.

I need to be more action-oriented.  I don't want to watch from the sidelines anymore.  I will live the life i talk about.  There are a few major changes that need to happen in order for me to do this so i'll work on those first.  I'm not using that as a procrastination tool but i really think that there are some things that are holding me back that i need to take care of.  

Don't talk about it, be about it.  Actions speak louder than words.  Lead by example.  

If you can't succeed because of somebody, succeed despite them.  It doesn't sound very good when somebody asks you why something isn't done. "Well it's not my fault, so-and-so blah blah blah."  I am the only one that can be responsible for my successes and failures.  Everybody is greedy and selfish.  Even if they really aren't, it's a decent way to look at it because then you'll see a clearer picture.  I'm not very good at this right now.  I like to think that people are good and just want to help.  It's how i live my life.  I do things for others and don't expect anything in return.  Unfortunately that's not always the case.  It's a cold world and it's people like me who get used by the people who are willing to do whatever it takes for themselves.

These are the types of people that seem to succeed in life.  That's most likely only on the surface, though.  Karma will catch up with them.  (Unless those people created "karma" so people like us keep taking the shit.)  

I think religion does that to a certain extent as well.  When i watch slavery movies, these people get shit on and shit on and shit on but their trust and faith in the savior Jesus Christ keeps them standing under the cow's ass.

I consider myself agnostic.  It basically means that i don't believe either way if there is or isn't a God.  Then, if there is a God, which one?  I'm not interested in all that.  I'm interested in living my life in a way that would make any of them satisfied.  If, for some reason, i was forced to choose a religion, i'd be Buddhist.  To me, it's more of a manual for how to life than about some fairy tale in the clouds.  It's realer, to me.

I was raised Catholic and i was two classes shy of having a religious studies minor in college, so i'd like to think i know a little more about the topic than most people.

It's crazy that when i asked how many of my Christian friends have read other holy texts, no practicing Christian had.  I even had a pastor comment on it and say that he hadn't.  I hope now that he has.  

How can you have such strong faith that vanilla is the best flavor of ice cream EVER when you've never tried chocolate or rocky road?

750 Words - Day 11

I've made the turn as they say in the golf world.  Today is the 11th day in the 21 day challenge.  I'm here again bright and early having just drank my morning protein shake.  

Last night i didn't eat enough food and it led to me to messing up on my diet.  I ended up eating a salad at like 9:30 but that just led to eating a bunch of pretzels and eventually a bowl of cereal.  What i cannot do at this point is get down on myself or discouraged.  It's too late to throw it all up (i wouldn't do that anyway, nor do i recommend it) so i might as well just move forward. 

I obviously had not eaten enough calories yesterday to make myself feel full.  When eating healthy, it is surprising at how much you are able to eat without getting many calories.  After all, 50 calories in a Twinkie is not the same thing as 50 calories from a lean protein source.  If you are going to use calories to decide what to eat, i'd advise you to choose the food that has the least calories that will fill  you up the most.  Using my above example, a half a can of tuna would be a hell of a lot better for you to eat than a half a twinkie.  Calories are not a very good measure if that is the only thing you are focusing on and using solely to make food decisions.

It's supposed to snow here today.  It was damn near 70 a week ago and today the low is 20!  Whenever there is even a threat of snow in Asheville everybody goes crazy.  There are lines at the gas stations and the grocery stores.  If the road gets covered drivers freak out and move at a snail's pace.  Everybody else stays indoors.  Being from NE Ohio, we're quite used to snow in the winters so it's funny for me to sit back and observe everybody else.

The snow is supposed to come in this afternoon and stick around til about midnight.  I'd love to either get to leave work early today or not have to go in on Friday.  Yeah, i still want snow days.  I'm still a kid at heart.  Or i just don't love what i do enough to want to go no matter what.  My goal is to get there someday.  There are two options.  Change what i do, or change my attitude about what i do.  Neither is easy but both would be very beneficial.

Perhaps a bit of both is in order.  

Anyways, do your snow dances!  I'd love to be back home at 1pm today and get to stay.  Especially all the snow stays and it turns into the beginning of a long weekend.  

Today is also a lifting day.  I plan to do weight training on Mondays and Thursdays, cardio on Saturdays.  Actually, today is the first day of weight training for the rest of my life.  As i mentioned, i am starting over as if i've never picked up a weight before in my life.  I will use light weights and focus on perfect form first.  When i get the perfect form down, i'll practice doing perfects reps each and every time.  The first and last reps should be identical to one another in terms of form.  I will focus on squeezing my muscles and keeping the weight under control at all times.  I lift weights to get stronger, not to tell somebody how much i can bench.  

I have to remind myself that it's a personal journey and i'm the one steering the ship.  Since i don't work out in a gym, i really don't have to worry about impressing other people.  I just walk outside and get it in.  If it snows today i'll need a little extra motivation to go outside in sub-freezing temperatures, but that will also be a test to see how much i want it.  

Mind, body, soul, debt, karma.  If i can take care of just those 5 areas, everything else will take care of itself.  I'm doing pretty good with the mind/body/karma so far but i would like to start meditating.  Perhaps that's my next 21 day challenge.  Unfortunately, i do not really know how i would write about meditating.  Maybe just check in and let you guys know that i completed it for the day, how long i did it, and any thoughts on how the practice went.  Yeah, I  think that'll be my next one.  Om!

750 Words - Day 10

Today is the tenth day of the 750 words per day challenge.  I'm back at it this morning, having just woke up and drank my hemp protein shake.  The more i do it, the more automatic it becomes and the easier it is to accomplish.  

We got our first paychecks of the new year.  Mine was nearly $30 less because of the tax cut that expired due to Congress failing to act on the "Fiscal Cliff" fiasco.  I didn't really want to discuss politics on this blog but here i am and i'm not going to restrain myself.  Why do the American people think that the people in Washington DC can spend our hard-earned money better than we can?  That's basically what we're doing.  Here, Washington, we aren't responsible enough to decide where to spend this money so we should just give it to you all and let you decide what to do with it.  It's bullshit.  I bet if you put it to a vote, most people wouldn't want 25% of everything they give to the government going to the department of defense so we can use drones to blow up Pakistani children.

Politics in America is a fucking joke.  The republicans try to pretend they are all about individual prosperity and less taxes but that's bullshit.  Those people in Washington making the policies want our money on both sides of the aisle.  We need to realize that these "representatives" are merely acting in the best interest of themselves.  Usually, what's best for themselves is to try to get re-elected.  How do you get re-elected?  Raise more money than your opponent.  Not a guaranteed method but for the most part that's what it takes.  How do you raise the most money?  Please those with the deepest pockets.  Who has the deepest pockets?  Generally it's the corporations and super PACs.  Please tell me how that's representative of the people.  

Then i feel like when i say these things i'm going to get in trouble or be put on some kind of watch list.  I'm probably just paranoid as i'm obviously not that important.  What troubles me is that the people who the FBI go after and what not are generally not a threat to the the American people, but a threat to the established power system.  I'm all for the American people and all that, but as far as the power structure is concerned, i could do without.  A system that only benefits 1% of the population is not a system i want to be a part of.

I used to talk a lot of shit about capitalism because even by the definition, it rewards one for taking risks.  Well, using that vague definition, i take a risk when i break into your house and steal all your shit.  I took the risk, i should reap the rewards, correct?  I feel like it puts ethics, morality and all that fun stuff on the back burner for the pursuit of profit.  It's me vs you and only one of us can win.  I don't like that.

But, as i studied capitalism a little more (and got even more confused) i realized that what we have in our country is not capitalism.  John Stossell says that the biggest threat to capitalism are existing capitalists.  Those people are the ones using their influence (money) in Washington to make sure that it's not as easy for the next guy.  Think about how many laws we have.  Do ethical people need laws to act properly?  Aren't criminals and unethical people going to break laws anyway?  Who does legislation really affect?  I find that oftentimes when Washington tries to fix a problem through legislation, not only do they fail, but they create other issues that they didn't even think about in the first place.

So in reality, i put the blame on the people using their deep pockets to carry out their will using the American government.  It's also each and every citizens' fault for not paying closer attention to what the fuck is going on in our country.  People know who pop stars and athletes are but have no clue what's happening in our country.  

It makes me want to be selfish and only look out for myself but i know that isn't what the Buddha or Jesus would do.  They would fight for the people who don't even know they are being shit on.  They wouldn't be afraid to stand up for justice.  Be more like the Buddha.

750 Words - Day 9

I'm running a little behind today so i'm really going to try and get through this quickly.  I have to leave for work in just over a half hour and i'm....

I decided to stop this morning and resume during my lunch break.  This morning, since i woke up late, i had to choose between writing and eating a meal.  Because my body is a major point of focus this year, i decided to scramble some eggs and come back to this writing in the afternoon.

Since i only work 2.2 miles away, i come home for lunch.  It allows me to let the dog out, eat some lunch, and do a couple chores before returning to work for the second half of the day.  I like to take lunch around 1 so that the second half of my day is shorter than the first.  I work 8:30 - 5:30 with that one hour of lunch being unpaid.  Unpaid lunch is bullshit.  I'd much rather get out at 4:30 than to take an unpaid lunch. 

As far as weight training, i have decided to delete my last 3 months of workout logs and start over.  I realized that i have learned a lot of stuff about weight training over the past 15 years.  Some of it is great information, but i have also developed some bad habits.  I want to approach weight training with a "beginner's mind" and pretend i've never touched a weight before.  My goal is to start over with a very light weight and make sure i have perfect form.  After that, all i have to do is make sure each and every rep is an exact replica of the rep before it.  I will concentrate on contracting my muscles as hard as i can, and i will lower the weight under control.  

"The gym isn't a place to stroke your ego.  It's a place to go and get stronger."  

I will get a much better workout doing the things i said above as opposed to trying to lift massive weights with terrible form.  At best, i'll complete the rep.  At worse, i'll injure myself.  Any weightlifter's first goal should be injury prevention.  After all, you can't train when you're injured.  

Fuck all the bros in the gym who walk around in the gym who think they're the shit.  Do you want to be that dude?  I sure as hell don't.  It's about making myself better not making myself LOOK better for other people.  "How much do you bench?"  My reply, "how much do you squat, deadlift?"  

Those same dudes are the ones who hammer their biceps but have chicken legs.  If you have a huge upper body but it looks like i can snap your leg in half with my two hands... i'm not impressed.  Maybe some superficial chick likes it, but good luck with all that.  

I digress, after all, i workout at home so i don't have to deal with all the d-bags.  

I'm really looking forward to this year.  I feel so good about it.  I don't know why but i'm not too concerned.  I might as well ride that high and keep it going for as long as i can.  I want to look back on January 1st, 2014 and look at just how far i have come.  One day at a time.  That's the beautiful thing.  If you are off track, it only takes one day to get back on track.  That works for just about anything, diet, weight training, yoga, etc.  It does not matter what happened yesterday, or even 5 minutes ago for that matter.  You do not have to be the same person you were back then.  You can start a streak today.  

It also works the other way around.  If you are going strong, working out every single day and feeling good, don't stop that streak!  It only takes one day.  That one day missed can easily turn into a week, then a month, then a year.  Keep that momentum going for as long as possible.  If you miss a day, don't get discouraged just re-read that previous paragraph :)

We are a product of all of our decisions.  If i don't like where i'm at, it's because of decisions i made in the past.  But i get to make new decisions all the time.  It's up to me whether i do the same things that haven't produced results or i make new decisions and work towards different things.  What will you decide?

750 Words - Day 8

Monday morning and it's the beginning of the second week of the 750 words per day challenge.  I'm looking forward to tackling this week and getting back to the weekend!  Pay day is tomorrow so that's always something to look forward to.  I need to stop living paycheck to paycheck.  With credit card debt and student loans, it's difficult to have money left over at the end.  I'm hoping to have $1500 put away in my savings account by the end of the year.  Right now it's sitting at around $400 but i need car repairs so i'll have to tap into it.

It's funny because i started saving money as a fall-back fund but then i get an expense like car repairs and i feel bad about spending the money.  Isn't that what that money is for?  I guess it just sucks having to use that money you worked to save on something like front tie rods in my 2002 Ford Focus.  Better than not having a car i suppose.  Although i have kicked around the idea of doing a 21 day challenge where i don't use my car under any circumstance.  I'll at least have to wait until it warms up as i'd be riding my bike to work.  I think it's only a 2.2 mile trip one-way but it's uphill mostly the whole way and while it takes about 15 minutes on a bike, it'd probably take over an hour on foot.  Since i have to come home at lunch to let the dog out, being a pedestrian isn't really practical.  

From strictly a money point-of-view though, my car is a big drain on my finances.  I no longer have a car payment, but insurance, gasoline, and maintenance/repairs still equates to a significant amount each year.  Without looking at Mint, i'd guess that my vehicle accounts for about 25% of all of my spending.  Throw in education (student loans), food, and housing and you've got a pretty good picture as to where most of my money goes.  

When i put it like that it's a little depressing.  That's what i work for?  That's why i sit in a cubicle for 40+ hours a week?  Ugh.  Part of me wishes i could've lived during the Oregon Trail days when all that was required was securing food, clothing, and housing.  That was your job.  Then again, being 27, my life would probably be more than half way over.  Today, it's probably (hopefully) about only a third.  Of course, we never know, but that's just looking at averages.  

The more you buy the more money you need.  Seems like a damn good reason to explore minimalism.  If you've been following my blog from the beginning, you'll know that my very first challenge was decluttering and trying to rid myself of some of the excess in my life.  I want each item that i own to have a specific purpose and i don't want to spend my hard-earned money on frivolous shit.  I'm not there yet, but i'm working on it.  Small steps. Over and over again.

I'm looking forward to the days getting longer and it not being dark when i get out of bed.  I find that it's much harder to rise early when it's still pitch black outside.  That also means it's getting warmer so that's a nice little added benefit.  I enjoy every season based on what each one brings, but summer is my favorite.  In Asheville, it never gets insanely hot or humid.  It's great.  If it is hot, i can just drive up further into the mountains and an experience temperatures that are generally about 10 degrees cooler.   If it is cold, I can drive out of the mountains and practically gain 10 degrees right away.  It's not difficult to be happy around here.

I am expecting most of my fat loss to happen during the summer when i'm simply more inclined to be outside burning calories.  The heat obviously helps, too.  I have a high school reunion and a friend's wedding to attend at the end of this summer, so that gives me something to use as a deadline.  I'm not really worried about looking good for those events, it just gives me and end date in mind.  I'm a procrastinator so the hard deadlines help me to stay focused and get the job done.  In college, i was the guy who had 4 weeks to do a paper but wouldn't start it until there were 3 days left.

750 Words - Day 7

Sunday morning.  I love waking up and being able to catch a live Barclay's Premier League game.  Soccer is on until it's time to switch over to the NFL playoffs.  Great day for a sports fan.

It's also unseasonably warm in Asheville today so i'm going to try and take advantage of that.  I got some Eggbeaters bicycle pedals for Christmas that i would love to try out today.  I enjoying biking because it's cardio, but it isn't running.  You can also cover much more ground than you can while you run and you see/pay attention a lot more to the surrounding than if you were in a vehicle.

I've drank my morning protein shake this morning and i'm here writing now so i hope that i am able to stay focused on what i have to do today.  I guess i don't HAVE to do anything but it goes back to those fun-filled weekends.  What i won't do it sit in front of those said sporting matches all day without getting anything else done.  The games will just be on in the background.  

Now if it were the Cleveland Browns in the NFL playoffs, good luck getting me to do anything but staring at the television.  But as pro football fans know, the Browns are terrible and they have only made the playoffs once since their return to the league in 1999.  (They lost in the first game.)

So the plan for today is to have a full slate.  I don't even really know what that entails just yet but i don't wanna catch myself sitting around doing nothing.  I have all week to recuperate and there are plenty of things for me to do.  

Damn, this is taking a long time again, as it did last night.  Perhaps it's because Monday - Friday i am just trying to quickly get stuff down so i can get in the shower and get ready for work.  There's nothing that urgently pending today so i guess i do not feel like i have to hurry.  Which is apparently allowing my brain to function at lower capacity than normal.

It's come to the point where i'm beginning to repeat the stuff that i have already once repeated.  I don't want to do that.  I'd like to think that i had something to say.  It's only brainstorming.  Shouldn't be this hard.  Or should it?  Why should i have preconceived notions about how "easy" or "difficult" writing 750 words per day for 21 days is if i have never actually done it?  It's a personal thing.  What's easy for me might be difficult for somebody else.  Hell, even each day is a new adventure.  Some days the words just flow and other days it's like a damn job just trying to reach that 750 threshold.

I suppose that's the point, though.  750 words is enough to make you work for it.  It's usually not something i can just knock out.  I have to dig a little.  

But that also lends itself to my just randomly typing garbage to eat up some text.  Probably hell for the readers so i apologize if that's the case.  It doesn't take nearly as long for you all to read the 750 words, though, so if i owe you a minute or two of your life back, put it on my tab.

I took some progress pics recently and i'm still not happy with what i see.  I'm coming in at around 176 pounds.  I would be more comfortable if i weighed closer to 160.  As i said last night, getting into the best shape of my life is a goal this year.  Life is too short to be a fat fuck.  (Life will most likely be even shorter if you ARE a fat fuck)

I don't say that to be mean.  Our bodies are the only ones we've got.  Modern medicine hasn't figured out a way to put our souls in a new body yet, so we had better treat these ones really well.  For the most part, people who are fat are fat because they eat shitty food and lack an exercise regimen.  Everything else they might tell you is bullshit and an excuse (aside from the tiny % of people who might actually have a "condition")  If somebody is complaining about their weight, but eats fast food more than once a week, tell them to fuck off and not to come back until they find grilled, skinless chicken breasts. 

750 Words - Day 6

I didn't write upon waking this morning, rather i'm trying to get these 750 words on paper so i can go to bed.   I often get off track on the weekends.  At least i am sitting here typing though.  In the past, i probably would have just skipped writing and came up with some kind of excuse as to why i did not do it.  I was actually asleep on the couch "watching" the football game but i knew i had to get this done before actually retiring for the night.

It's nice to just knock it out in the morning.  That way i not only feel good about accomplishing something, but it's not hanging over my head all day and keeping me from going to sleep.

So far this year my weekends have been much more eventful than in the recent past.  I am trying to make it a point to live as fully as i can on the weekends and use the workweek as a sort of "recovery" period.  Life has seemingly been passing me by and i want to do what i can to slow that process down a bit.  

This year is my 10 year high school reunion.  The past decade has been a blur.  The next decade will slip away even faster if i let it.  That isn't the goal.  I want to savor each moment.  Our time is so limited.  I have been to at least three funerals for kids my age since i've graduated.  One of my friends died in the war, and two more in accidents.  You just never know which day is the last.

Instead of being weird about it, or scared, i use it as motivation and a reminder to enjoy the little things and to tell the people that i love that i love them.  I've never really found it odd to say "i love you."  As a guy, it might not seem macho or whatever but i say fuck that. I don't need to front.  

My brain isn't working as fluidly as it does in the morning as this is taking way longer than usual.  I find myself taking a lot of breaks between thoughts.  My poor little brain.  It's saying, "go the fuck to bed!"  It's only 10:30 pm est but that's past my bedtime.  Especially because i was up until 2 last night and was up at 8 this morning.  I tried to go back to sleep (which is why i didn't write) but i was never successful.

I went out to a friend's property and helped clear land.  They are in the process of building a home from the ground up.  It's not going to be anything incredibly fancy, but they are doing it themselves and i respect the hell out of them for doing it.  Wouldn't it be cool to live in a house that you built with your own hands?  It'll be relatively "off-the-grid" and won't have indoor plumbing, so it's not really for me, but it's awesome nonetheless.

We were moving big ass logs.  The best way i was told to do it was to basically flip them over end-to-end until i got them to my destination.  It was uphill, too.  I got a damn good workout in.  I'm still sore from lifting weights yesterday so i probably won't even be able to move in the morning.  I'm not as young as i once was.

It's that good feeling soreness though.  The pain that says i accomplished something and i have a reason to be sore.  Except had i been consistently working out over the past month, i wouldn't be nearly as sore.  Just got to stick with it. 

Me and a friend set up a private Google + group that we are hoping helps keep each other motivated toward our fitness goals.  We're hoping that by having somebody to hold us accountable will help.  We're also working on creating some kind of stakes to make us more likely to see it through.  My fitness goal this year is to become the most fit i've ever been in my life.  

The most fit i've ever been had to be when i was playing high school football so getting back to those levels won't be an easy task.  I was "forced" to be fit back then.  I had coaches and teammates that were relying on me and made sure i got my shit done.  Now i'm basically doing it on my own.  We'll see what happens.  

Finally!  Goodnight friends.

750 Words - Day 5

Happy Friday!  Always a good day in the wage slave's week.  My goal is that one day, every day will feel like a Friday.  

I'm looking forward to today and the weekend.  Not for any reason in particular.  The high temperature is supposed to be 70 over the weekend!  Not bad for the middle of January.  The average is probably somewhere in the mid-40's or 50's for this time of year in Asheville.

Not long ago i purchased Tim Ferriss' 4-Hour Life course through Creative Live.  It's basically just a pr/marketing thing before he released his latest book.  Anyway, it's a two day course in which he brings on various guests to discuss topics relevant to his book and his general mission.  Tim interviews a bunch of people over the course of the two days.  Creative Live allows you to watch these events live, but that's your only opportunity to see it for free.  I watched as much as I could for free, but since i was at work i could not dedicate as much energy as i wanted to.  

I purchased the course for the promotional, discounted price of $149.  I've only watched the first three or four sections (about 25% of the course) and i've already accumulated 7 and a half pages of notes.  It was definitely worth the price.  Especially because they threw in a copy of The 4-Hour Chef.  I had already committed to purchasing the course before they announced that everybody who ordered by a certain date would receive the bonus.  A nice little bonus indeed.  I've read most of the book and i'm now going through the "Domestic" section and following Tim's cooking lessons.  

It's amazing how much your life can change with just a few simple actions.  One thing leads to another.  Create such a ridiculously low quota for yourself and you'll be amazed at how much beyond you went (assuming it's something you really want to do.)  If it's lifting weights for example, just commit to doing three sets of one exercise.  Most likely, once you get to the gym or the place you work out, you'll do more than the minimum.  Same goes for writing.  Commit to just 2 shitty pages.  If you get into the flow you may up with 10 damn good pages without even realizing it.  

If we are able to start, and then make incremental steps on a consistent basis, we'll look back and be flabbergasted as how far we've made it.  

I feel like a lot of the topics and themes keep coming up day after day on here.  I hope that isn't boring.  I'm just simply typing what's coming to mind.  My fingers doing what my brain tells them to do.  Perhaps that's a pretty good idea of where i'm at in my life if these are the things that keep coming to my brain quickly upon waking.  I do need some help once in a while though.  For example, both the The 4-Hour Chef and my notes for The 4-Hour Life are sitting next to me on the table.  It's easy to glance over at that and get inspired to write something about it.

i wonder if i'm making any difference in anybody's life.  i feel like the writing has benefited me so that's a positive.  I want to make a difference.  I want to help people.  Better yourself and then better your world.  I feel like that's what i'm trying to do.  Especially this year.  I'm dedicated to making myself better.  I realize that better is subjective, but our time on this planet is limited so why not try to make the best of it?  I want to be better in my own eyes.  

Trying to please other people is not the right way.  I came into this world alone and i'm going to be alone when i leave it so pleasing myself has to be a major focus.  As long as i'm not interfering in the life, liberty, or pursuit of happiness of others then i do not see it an issue.  I'm a good person, i do things for others on a daily basis.  I just have to make sure i'm giving myself the same respect.

It's sometimes easy to think that we don't deserve it.  BUT, if WE ourselves don't think we deserve, why would anybody else think we deserve it?  Everybody is selfish to some degree.  We have to prove to ourselves and other people we are worthy of respect.